The Chapman Family’s Blog

You don't have to download it or anything, just listen :

Listen to Radio One podcast of best bits of Glastonbury 2008 - including us!

We're on 19 minutes in - listen to us talk in a dodgy cockney accent before we play trying to describe what we sound like to assorted Festival types and then (after they play a very punk rock live version of our song You Are Not Me) listen to me talk about the wonderful healing powers of rain and God. I talk some serious hippy mumbo jumbo, I'm such a hypocrite!

It also features other bands on from the Introducing Stage (most of which are signed, have management, a press team and booking agents etc) like thecocknbullkid (recently heavily featured in Radar section of the NME, but you knew that already, right? She played in Middlesbrough last year to about twelve people - not exactly Sex Pistols in Manchester but kinda). No I don't know how we do it either? We're either the luckiest band in the world or the unluckiest I'm not sure which. We're definitely the best though. Oh yes, I'm hella-modest...

Oh yeah, and before anyone starts (again) just because we're not the "best" players of instruments in the world doesn't necessarily mean we're not a good band - I can't think of anything more dull than watching a band of "talented musicians" wanking about playing solos on their five string bass and alternatively tuned seven string semi-acoustic manwank-axe. For the record - AND THIS IS FACT, I make no apologies for this - if we're either playing a gig or I'm just out watching one and I see a band turn up with a five string bass I don't watch them. If that five string (de)basser has his some kind of horrific faded tour t-shirt tucked into some ironed chinos (with a tan belt) I would possibly stuff barbed wire down my ears and gouge out my eyes with a cocktail stick. If that five stringed bass player had a radio mic....you get the idea. Who the fuck needs a radio mic anyway? It breaks the most important rule of rock n roll - does everything you are doing at all moments in time look cool as fuck or what? Having a radio mic does not - repeat does not - look anywhere vaguely cool. Did Hendrix or Cobain have a radio mic? Did they fuck. Would they have one if offered? ...etc etc rant rant i'm hungover i'm sorry too much red wine rant rant rant etc same old shite rant rant you're all shit etc etc etc you have no taste in music rant rant rant...but think about it - who amongst your heroes has a radio mic? Apart from Maiden, leave them alone, they're the exception to every rock n roll rule there is. They're amazing musicians, use radio mics, wear tour t-shirts (of their own band!!!! I KNOW!) and tuck them into their trousers, and they all probably own six string basses and eight string guitars. This does not matter though as Maiden are ultimately "cool-proof". If you don't agree just go and listen to Run To The Hills one more time, then play one of your own retarded songs and realise how fucking useless you are and how much more of a man Steve "Harry" Harris is than you. Even if he is wearing a radio mic in his spandex, the mong.

K-dawg xxx

http://www.bbc.co.uk//glastonbury/2008//artists/chapmanfamily/

2 videos on that site and some sexy pictures of our badass selves "rocking out" for all the hippys. Please go and have a look, I think it's great. Unfortunately the last song we performed (where we trashed a couple of guitars, flung ourselves into the crowd, stage dived, WAILED feedback etc) can't be shown as it had too much swearing in it and went on for about ten minutes. Tee hee hee. It was awesome though.

Other things I've found about us at Glasto :

NME saying we're "magnificent"!

Kingsley's stolen tent report in the Evening Gazette!

Radio One DJ Huw Stephens saying nice things about us!

Newcastle Metro saying we're a "hidden gem" at Glasto!

Absolutely loved every minute of it, we really did - just want another one now!!! (But unfortunately I don't think you can be "introduced" on the Introducing Stage twice - bah!)

WE LOVE YOU ALL

K-bone x

News :

1 - Brixton Windmill WEDNESDAY 4TH JUNE ie tomorrow. We're headlining so will be destroying things at about 10ish. Come down, we're fucking brilliant and I'm not ashamed to say it.

2 - Glastonbury Festival BBC Introducing Stage on Friday June 27th. If you are definitely coming down get in touch and you can have a pretty t-shirt to wear. You can burn it/rip it/sell it afterwards but if you could wear it while we're playing that'll be sweet.

OTHER GIGS WHERE YOU CAN ADORE US :

Go on. You know you want to!!

Kingsley C x

I won't bore you with the details, here's all you need to know :

Dancemagicdance2

Wednesday, Old Blue Last, about 9PM.

The night is called "Dance Magic Dance" - named after the Bowie song from "hit movie" Labyrinth. Easily the best film of all time. Easily.

Here's a new song. Sort of.

[Having problems uploading it, it keeps coming up as a video. Bloody stupid vox. Go hear/download it at MySpace instead - www.myspace.com/thechapmanfamily ]

It's called "Hear Them Marching" and this will be for want of a better word "the feedback mix". Here is the musical equation we used to make this song, and by the way, it came to us in a dream ... there you go! that adds a bit of intrigue doesn't it??!

feedback + vocals (- bass - guitar - drums) x distortion = song

WE LOVE YOU ALL x

Well, Camden Crawl Fringe Event really but it'll still be good and it's a chance to play infront of a load of drunks. Everyone likes that.

It's at Tommy Flynns and we're on at 530pm. Go on, be a dear :

Camden

It's FREE too. Happy days.

02-Track 2 (2)

It's called NO ENTERTAINMENT and it's about when me, Paul and Lucy (ex bass player) used to go and watch bands all the time (2 or 3 times a week).

We were (as the title suggests) shocked by the lack of entertainment on offer by most of the aforesaid bands and even more shocked by the arrogance and pedestal they seemed to put themsxelves on. We decided to do a band ourselves that at least gave the impression like we were arsed about entertaining the masses (even if you think we're "a little bit shit") and not behave like a pack of divas.

Well you can't have it all. Where's my lillies for fucks sake? I demand lillies.

Kingsley x (www.myspace.com/thechapmanfamily)

Saturday 22nd March @ Tommy Flynns, Camden

K7

Pop1

K5

K9

I don't know who the photographer was but whoever it was thank you, I like them alot. You will obviously note that 3 out of the 4 pictures are of my good self - there were pictures of the others knocking about but as I'm a power crazed ego maniac I've centred on pictures of myself purely for vanity reasons (plus I paid for all the fucking petrol to get down to LDN so I figure I deserve something or other).

Thanks should also go to James for organising the gig and buying us some beers, bless him, a thouroughly nice chap to boot.

Driving back was like driving through Hoth in Empire Strikes Back - 30mph on the M1 between Sheffield and home in blizzard conditions an not able to even see the cats eyes. To say I was a little scared is an understatement. We eventually got home just in time to watch the Grand Prix live from Malaysia at 7AM. There's nothing quite the same as having a cold beer at 7 in the morning when you haven't slept for over 24 hours (out of which 12 of them have been taken up with driving up and down the M1). I watched and laughed as Lewis "the saviour of Formula 1" Hamilton's McLaren team completely fucked up his race by screwing up the first pit stop and then went to bed.

We love coming down to London on a regular basis - we wouldn't do it if we didn't and once someone actually finishes the roadworks on the M1 (Junctions 6-10 grrrrrr!) then it will become a much more pleasurable experience.

Our next London dates are (as I doubt anyone on here gives two shits about when we're playing in Stockton, Darlo, Leeds etc) :

26th April - Feeling Gloomy @ Bar Academy

14th May - Dance Magic Dance @ Old Blue Last

4th June - Spoon of Music @ Windmill, Brixton

26th June - Electric Toaster @ Old Blue Last

...but I may have a date for Camden Crawl too on April 19th - just waiting confirmation!!! Oooooh the excitement of it all.

My "End of the World" gigs are starting this weekend which is obviously very exciting and taking up alot of my time. Anyone interested in playing in the grim north of England for me for a pittance please contact www.myspace.com/endoftheworldfestival . It's going to be mint. Seriously.

Yes your favourite bunch of bargain bucket bottom of the bill northerners are coming back down to London for a free gig hosted by Artrocker/Converse at the "world famous" 100 Club on Valentines Day - thats the 14th of February for all you non-romantics.

It's FREE so, you never know, it might even be busy. We're on in what we like to term the "Status Quo at Live Aid slot" ie. first, at 745PM. It'll be a blink and you'll miss it performance so if you want to see why we get the giggoers of the north east in a lather but still manage to leave the rest of the UK unaffected then get down early! (Or if you want to sign us - get down late, pretend you've seen us, presume it was the greatest rock n roll show of your life, give us a hefty check, a bag full of crack and a limo full of whores. Oh and a bottle of Jack Daniels would be nice too.)

Bombay Bicycle Club headline - ON A SCHOOL NIGHT - and some scary yanks called The DeathSet are playing, as are some Londoners called Fat Sue - so sign them up instead if you think we're cack-a-jack.

Anyway - YOU WANT EVIDENCE THAT SOME LONDONERS LIKE US don't you? Ofcourse you do.

http://www.the-fly.co.uk/webmag.aspx

Page 53 and 54 I think, nice little live review from our last Artrocker performance.

Go on. Have a read.

You know I love you really xxxx

IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD

It's an all day art rock apcalypse! (Or "rockocalpypse" if you will).

www.myspace.com/endoftheworldfestival

So anyway, I like alot of bands - ALOT of bands - and not just your chicken-in-a-basket indie fourpieces either (which might or might not come as a shock). I went to a local venue with an idea for a project designed to pump fresh blood into my local "scene" and this is the result.

The main event is going to be an all dayer entitled "IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD" (as many people think Teesside is at the end of the world, if not beyond it - plus it gives me an excuse to promote it by going around town with big placcards telling people not to worry as the world is not going to end...anyway), but there are also some warm up gigs at various venues in the region that I'm organising too featuring a HUGE array of talent and mix of genres from Industrial Hardcore to the tweest of twee folk pop. As I've said previously, I'm fed up with listening to/watching the same style bands up and down the country - this seemed like a perfect excuse to find out if any people feel the same way as me by putting bands on that don't really ahere to the traditional "band" blueprint. 

SATURDAY 12th APRIL @ THE GEORGIAN THEATRE

STOCKTON-ON-TEES (BIRTHPLACE OF THE RAILWAYS, NEAR MIDDLESBROUGH, THE NORTH OF ENGLAND)

Doors 3PM, tickets £5 advance; £7 on the door
Buy online from www.teesmusicalliance.org.uk or in person @ The Georgian Theatre or Green Dragon Studios

in no particular order :

UNTITLED MUSICAL PROJECT(www.myspace.com/untitledmusicalproject)

NOISY CLEVER PUNKY SHOUTY INDIE STUFF FROM BIRMINGHAM

"You want noise? Energy? Electricity? Untitled Musical Project are almost without doubt the most exciting live prospect in the country right now, and have them all in abundance." - Art Rocker
"When it comes to mixing brain and brawn, Untitled Musical Project are in a deafening league of their own. Nice." - NME
"This freshfaced threesome bring you punk in its original, snotty form, smartened up and spat back into your grotty parents faces. Let them show you their land of wicked temptation, just dont expect to ever want to come back." - Drowned In Sound

LR ROCKETS (www.myspace.com/lrrockets)

LONDON NU-RAVE ROCK THAT SEEM TO MAKE LITTLE SENSE BUT STILL SOMEHOW WORKS

"LR Rockets put on a tasty nu-rave indie spread which draws in a lot of youngsters. Live fans are transfixed by their colours and the vocalist’s crazy legs." - The Sun
"LR Rockets are not afraid to rip up the rule book, raid their favourite Jonathan Richmond and Devo tunes, and mix it up with their own mix of what it takes to get people dancing." - Artrocker

THE CHAPMAN FAMILY (www.myspace.com/thechapmanfamily)

MY BAND - FUCKING BRILLIANT - EASILY THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW

"Destined for greatness." - NME
"A brutally hard noise...they motor along in a blur of anger." - Artrocker

RAZMATAZ LORRY EXCITEMENT (www.myspace.com/razmatazlorryexcitement)

AWESOME ONE MAN KNOB TWIDDLING ELECTRONIC DANCE MACHINE FROM NEWCASTLE

"you'd do well to check this out." - NME
"smart Daft Punk-esque dancefloor electro with a retro edge and a punkish sensibility." - new-noise.net

THE CHIARA L'S (www.myspace.com/thechiarals)

UNASHAMED GIRLY INDIE POP WITH THE OCCASIONAL FILTHY LYRIC

"Choon!, Sharp, Short, Smart and Snappy! Just How we like it!" - Huw Stephens, Radio 1

FOXCOCK (www.myspace.com/foxcock)

BOY/GIRL DRUM/SYNTH DUO FROM TEESSIDE. WEAR SCARY MASKS AND GET NAKED. BRLLIANT

ENGINES AND INSTRUMENTS (www.myspace.com/enginesandinstruments)

TWO HUMANS, ONE ROBOT TRYING TO KILL OFF ROCK N ROLL FOR GOOD

PENNY BROADHURST (www.myspace.com/pennybroadhurst)

LEEDS BASED SPOKEN WORD ARTIST NOW SINGING PRETTY POP SONGS

LADY KITT (www.myspace.com/lady_kitt)

NEWCASTLE BASED PERFORMANCE ART NUT JOB

ANKLES (www.myspace.com/anklesband)

TWO BASS PLAYERS, ONE DRUMMER. ATMOSPHERIC POST ROCK FROM SUNNY HARTLEPOOL

THE PRESTIDIGITATORS (www.myspace.com/gillhammusic)

TERRIFYING NOISE TERRORISM. NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED. OPENING THE SHOW!

and a couple more to be announced (if they agree)

PLUS! Miserable and melancholic tunes played all day by a DJ instructed only to play ballads, the classical music of Verdi and Smiths songs.

Hopefully, these initial gigs in March/April are just the start - I'm planning bigger and better things over the summer and winter of which I'm ure I'll keep you, the masses, informed.

TheKidsAreNotAlrightDEMO

1 comment

NB This is NOT the final mix - it's still a demo. I've posted it up here as i kinda like it, that's all.

The dual vocal at the beginning is coming out; drums a little quieter; bass a little higher and more defined; some of the feedback guitar is getting scrapped (but not all - i think that's why i like it).

To me it sounds like a song that is ready to collapse in on itself at any minute but somehow shambolically manages to make it to the end.

I'm sure it'll all sound lovely when it's mastered.

Thanks for listening (if indeed anyone did), Kingsley C